The Tortured Softballer’s Diary,
It’s kickoff week!! Whether you’ve waited ages or a fortnight, the wait is almost over. Last season is in the rearview. “How did it end” You ask? The Green Machine got the job done over Magenta in extra innings! Now it’s time to wipe the slate clean. Everyone’s walking onto the fields fresh out the slammer. Doesn’t matter if you were down bad last year like navy or maroon. They were the first to begin the alchemy of team assembly at the YPLS draft. How will the manuscript play out this year?!?
Our kickoff party is at Wichita Company Venue by their East location. This is the best night of the season. Everyone is undefeated. Everyone is saying, “Daddy, I love them” about their team. Coaches are thinking “I can fix him” as they look at their weakest players. It’s like a new relationship. So much excitement and anticipation only to eventually lead to the disappointment of the smallest man who ever lived. This will serve as your annual reminder that it is no longer cuffing season. You may wear the #1 jersey but there’s a whole roster batting behind you.
A few YPLS ground rules! First, don’t get hurt. It’s rEcrEaTiOnaL sOftBALl. It’s not worth a tendon rupture, broken ankle, broken fingers or disfigured face. You can play with a broken heart. You can’t type with a mangled hand. Second, the league is about socializing, meeting new people, and, sure, finding the loml. Every week we will have a sponsor that gave us American dollars to host that night so we, as a league, want to show our appreciation by attending the post game. No one is expecting you to buy food or alcohol at every bar. Have you seen inflation – Even the ice cubes are getting smaller – however your presence would be much appreciated. Also, recruit your non-softballing friends to join us! We call those superfans and they count to your team’s sponsor participation. So, call up Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus and tell them to register as your superfan. THE TEAM WITH THE MOST REGISTERED SUPERFANS (sorry got tired of yelling) at the kickoff party will get a league sponsored bar tab for a TBD cash amount. For everyone else in attendance this week we will have loads of prizes and maybe even a timeshare in FLORIDA!!! Actually, no, no vacations. But, we will have lots of other great prizes that you must be in attendance and have filled out your waiver to win.